My Journey is My Home

I was away from my home for only three weeks, yet I could tell that there are some changes. Only small changes though, nothing really special. Yet I was still looking at those things for one minute or two trying to recall how they looked before or what was it that was being replaced. I was not in the process, so I thought these changes were sudden. I only see the final form.

"The only thing constant in life is change." - François de la Rochefoucauld

I think nowadays, people like everything to be instant. Everything needs to be quick. Care more about when to get at one point, instead of how to get there. I like it too, sometimes. Even though, I always enjoy the process. Being in the moment, so I can feel fully attach to what I am doing. However, I am now sitting on my bed with things going on in my head, mainly was trying to remember whether I have missed many details that have formed the final picture of one change in my life.

When I look at myself in the mirror now, I can tell the physical change. Then I talk to myself about me in the present and say how grateful I am to have done what I did in the past. I have done quite many different things in life. One another has nothing in common. No relation, at all. However it makes me into me who I am today. I feel a little bit sorry to myself, though, that I didn't really give my best at that time. I don't want to say some silly expressions like "I wish I could.." "If only I had.." Nothing will make any different. Because after all that was my process. Now I can feel the advantage. Experience is a good teacher, people say. And wise people, will not let history to repeat itself.

So lesson learned at this early morning is I should be aware even for small details in the process. I should do more consequences analysis before even think about ignoring one. Because one day if that small detail is the core of everything, I will not have the chance to turn back the time to redo it again.

Say the final form is my destination. And the process is my journey. As for me, the journey is my home, where I feel comfortable at.

What You See as A Grown-up?

Happy new year 2012! Sorry for the very very slow will in taking action. Wishing all of you the very best in this quite controversial yet exciting year. I hope everybody is having fun. :)

Well then 2012, it means I'm now soon to be 23. Still in 2 months, though. Time is passing when you're not looking, eh. Here and now I'm not going to review nor making any resolutions, no. That will be a never ending circle, so I actually find it kinda ridiculous to do so. Because I think, making plan is necessary, but embracing the opportunity that comes to you is even more important. Like one of my good friends said, "Why should I plan my life? Opportunities are everywhere if you open your eyes. That's what I learned from living." John Lennon even said, "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making plans."

Currently I'm jobless. I don't know whether I should be happy or sad about it, but I enjoy it somehow. I left Denmark in mid June, so I've been back here in Indonesia for around 7 months. See! Time does fly! I lived in Bali for nearly half a year (it's gonna be another story to tell). In short, I quit my job in Bali and came back to Jakarta. So January was my first full month living in Jakarta again. It has been lovely here in Jakarta, meeting up with family and also my good old and new friends, returning to the places I like, having fun, and you know, simply enjoying this highly complex capital. Not so bad. Yet still keep opening my eyes for new opportunities. Already got one or two, and even still in the process of reaching the goal. I actually can't believe I've made it this far. But as I usually say, I always set my dreams high, but never expect too much. So let's see what happens.

Anyway, have I mentioned about meeting up with people? Well yeah, that's special, as always. It's nice to be reunited with people I've missed all this time. I also got to meet new people. And, my uncle passed away last week, so sorry. But because of that I got to meet my cousins too, whom I haven't seen for ages. Like really, for ages. Do you know what normally people say when they meet another people from the past? "Wow, you've changed!" or "Wow you've grown!" or something like that. Which I think kinda silly, because of course people do change and absolutely, they do grow, for God's sake! Well, I also do it anyway sometimes, because that's the ice breaker to strike a conversation. But then, it makes me thinking...

When I met my little brother again, 7 months ago. He has grown so fast. He is so big now, even taller than me. I don't know what he has been through when I was not there, I don't know how develop or mature he got, I don't know how much he changes inside. But physically, he has developed. Yet in my eyes, he is still a kid who barely able to protect himself. Perhaps in some years, I will realize that he is not a kid anymore and I can eventually talk to him as grown-ups.

Speaking of experience, I feel that too. When I was a kid, I saw all the grown-ups (relatives, teachers, neighbors, even parents) were so big, mature, and powerful. They seemed just out of reach. But now, I'm growing up, having more experience, getting mature, and when I meet them again occasionally, they all look the same like what I can remember when I was a child. They don't slightly change. Even now, I can have friends from a very wide range of ages, from a 10 year-old kid to a 40 even 50 year-old guy. As long as I know where to have myself, can have good conversation, and have a good judgement, everything is good. Everything seems to be more equal. :)

Undskyld, nu skriver jeg paa Dansk. Saa pigerne i dette billede heroppe kan godt forstaar. Jeg tog sig af de boern, da jeg var i Danmark, var de 10, 9, og 2-aarige. Vi havde en rigtig god tid sammen, jeg gerne en dag vil komme en anden gang for os at blive genforenet. Og i den tid haaber jeg, de kan stadig huske vores gode gamle tid, saa vi kan goere det igen, paa trods af aendringerne. Selv jeg ville oenske, de kunne oplevealle de ting, som verden kan tilbyde. Som for mig, uanset hvad de bliver, vil jeg altid elske dem. :)

The Bell has Rung!

Another hiatus, apparently I like to leave this site unwritten for uncertain time. To be honest, I've been checking my own blog every now and then, and the passion to write is always there. Plus all the things that keep come and go in my life is just so interesting to share, I think. But I just don't understand myself why I just don't write a thing!? Maybe they are just so interesting until I don't know how to put it in words? Weird!

I don't even know who read my notes actually, but I'm so sorry if I seem neglecting this one. Me myself even feel bored always be welcomed with a note back from new year, means 4 months ago! Anyway, now I really feel like writing. And this particular event makes me even eager to just keep on going.

I love Friday! Oh yes, indeed! The last 2 Fridays have been always warm. Spring has blown its warm breeze accompanied with full sunshine. Not always, though, but at least now we do have the sun! No doubt that sun always brings a positive spirit for people live in this cold country. Now everyone looks even more shining and stunning. They already hanged their big winter jacket, stuffed back warm shoes, now it's time for colors!

Yes, colors are everywhere. From the people, the trees, the buildings. Everywhere! Even my life is just too colorful now! I mean it!

I love the fact that now we have the sun, feels like home, somehow. I feel blessed seeing how beautiful Copenhagen is when the sun is really there. I can't stop falling in love with it. It seems that the city is always ready to give you (at least me) something completely new. Since I already understand and speak a little Danish, I feel the city even more attractive. Because now I really feel like a part of it. And I know Danes a little more better. They are cold, yes, but they are also very helpful and friendly in many ways. I like them. See how my first impression about them is so wrong. Don't believe in first impression, it could be deceiving. ;)

Ok I need to stop telling about that now. It was just a hint. I will write the complete version to fulfill my promise to my best tutor. Ok, but what exactly I mean colorful is because I just got lots of surprise here and there!

It's just all about Friday! I said it that I love Friday. So, Friday last week, I went for a picnic with my friends. It was just so cosy. Nothing special in particular, though. Just a very nice feeling having time for myself and my friends, at last. And worried about nothing. But Friday this week, means today, hold da op! First of all, a friend of mine whom I went for a picnic with is already in India. Second of all, I have to work this weekend. Last but not least, I just lost 3500 kroner in a blink! For fanden! Ok, it's because of my stupidity, though, about toilet! Aah too embarrassing to spill the story behind it. So now, I'm worried about money, which actually I never really did before. Just annoyed me, this kind of thing. It's like a bell that rings in my head reminds me that I'm getting old and need to plan myself better, in every ways. Saving money is one of them, obviously.

But on top of that, this would sound odd after what had happened to me, I still feel happy. Who doesn't when the sun is shining for around 16 hours? God weekend! :)

1 Januar 2011

Time does not fly that fast if you keep in trace about what you have been doing. Therefore, in order to appreciate my life and to refresh my mind, I would like to trace back my wonderful 2010 before I embrace the challenge and the beauty of 2011.

Some good things that happened in the year of tiger was I traveled to some countries in 3 continents: Southeast Asia (Thailand and Vietnam), Europe (Denmark, Austria and Sweden), and Africa (Egypt). It was a bliss. Even though some, I felt I just paid a visit and haven't explored that much. But it was worth visiting though.

Another thing was I dipped into the night life in Jakarta to interact with one profession that people normally spit on it, prostitute. It was unforgettable! And the notes I took from there, I presented it through my photo essay in two exhibitions. That time I could taste the sweet of glory.

Having finished my study with excellent result and worked with inspiring people at the same time could be one of the exciting moments of 2011 as well. It was just awesome.

Last but not least, if you ever reached the limit of your self boundary, then you might know the feeling. This is my best of 2010, I have been challenged myself to leave my comfort zone, to do something completely different with my prior life, to embrace the chances and the opportunities that life might give, and to look inside me to know myself better. I left my country and moved to Denmark to work. Even though it was hard at the beginning, but later when I have found which foot to stand on, I feel blessed to be here.

1 January 2011 gave me a very beautiful surprise. A positive energy to start my following year. A clear mind to see things better. And a healthy spirit to live the life. This year I need to keep challenging myself, I will leave the traces here:

- Speak Danish and Italian

- Be a travel journalist

- Write a book

- Learn how to cook

Just a simple note, the basic things in life we always need to do to build a good foundation. ;)

Endnu et år, en anden start.. Velkommen 2011!

People and The City

"Getting to know people is like visiting countries in the world. You fall in love with one or two, but you can't stay long enough if the country doesn't issue a visa. So you can only marvel its beauty from outside, take an afternoon walk, evening drive, hoping someday you won't need a map."

- Ramda Yanurzha

This is another story from my life in Denmark. This time no more complaints, definitely! The first two months dealt with culture shock, social status, loneliness, and long list of complaints, made me strong enough to stand on my own feet without worry about anything. Now comes another phase of settling in, which is getting to know people.

I left this page unwritten for a month and a half. Along that time, many things have happened, even though they come and go. Being alone for a while let me have enough space for myself, for me to understand myself better. I've been friend with myself ever since. How nice. :) So, the thing that I wanted to have friends like my wish in the beginning was not so important anymore. But then, one by one people came to my life. Some continued their journey and some stayed.

I was so grateful that some of my friends helped me a lot in my first encounter with Denmark. How they always listened to my complaints. How they tried to ensure me that everything would be ok. How they trusted me that I could get through this. It was just so nice of them. I even got to meet two of them, and I was extremely happy to meet familiar face in a complete stranger world. Then I know that they are my best friends for life. No question asked.

Then I got the chance to meet another Indonesian people in the living fairy tale city, Copenhagen. One was my former boss and the other was a guy who hosted my friend back in Jakarta. I barely talked to my former boss before, but here we became good friends. Since we were far away from country. And he gave me so much input. Same story with the other guy, I never met him in Jakarta, but here all the conversation went like we knew each other for ages. How interesting it is when you meet someone who speak the same language outside the country, then all of sudden you just feel.. at home.

That was with some people whom I knew already. But they had to continue their journey, it was sad but on the other hand I knew that we have each other in our memories and will support each other in everything we do. We're hopping that our path will cross again someday.

Even far away from the country, I try to manage to keep in contact with my friends back home. Though with the time difference is not that easy. Again, the time when I was alone gave me another perspective on how I see friends. I realized that now I know better know about my friends back home. They are my very good friends, but then I know that some are just friends when we're together, some are just friends when they need me, some are just friends for some particular issues, and some are friends for life to stand by each other even we're far away. But above all, they are still my very good friends anyway and will remain the same forever.

I love getting to know people. I feel so blessed that now I can get to know people better. It's just because now I know myself better. So I can see another people more clearly. :)

Like in my first paragraph, now I'm entering the phase of settling in which is getting to know people. Since I already knew some people here, aside of my host family of course, it's the time for me to make friends. Generally speaking, they are friends, of course, but in different term. I just know them, but they're super nice. I like them. And as for me, I know that there are some people who just can give me good impression that make me feel that they are gonna be my good friends. I felt it with one or two people here.

Since now I'm here, then I need to follow the rules of the game here. It's not my country where I can easily make friends because I know the mentality of the people there, more or less. It could be a little bit difficult, but I'm sure it won't be an obstacle as long as I'm just being who I am and doing good to people.

The best thing about getting to know people is somehow you can get so much input which really suit to your life condition that time, even though the people who tell you that do not realize or do not even mean to give you something. Anyhow as long as you open yourself for new opportunities and chances, then you will receive something good that you never thought. It is a surprise, like a box of chocolate. ;)

Hello New Friend!

Let's say that loneliness has been my new good friend this last 4 weeks. Even though I'm already trying to settle in, finding which foot to stand on, managing my life here and there so I can get the best out of my new life in Denmark, still this friend is sticking like glue! How wonderful is that! ;)

Before I begin to describe my new friend, I would like to apologize for my post which full of my whining instead of something more interesting. Since this is what I feel lately, so I can't help not to write it. Anyway, just feel free to continue or leave it.

Yes, life is a big surprise! I already warned myself before I came here that this is living not traveling. I still felt happy though, because I would live in Europe. I would have the chance to explore Europe, Denmark at least. But I didn't know that it would be this hard. Regarding on settling in, having friends, and stuff like that. Well, it's not this this hard, but it's still hard though. The major difference is definitely the fact that I haven't got any friends yet. So all of sudden, loneliness has become one. I couldn't take it at first, because normally I always surrounded by friends. Even I wished to left alone. And this time when I'm eventually alone, but knowing that nobody is expecting my presence is not a good feeling. Well I might sound snobbish, feeling that back home some people might expect my presence. But I guess it's true, well at least my family. And also, now I know how homesick is. I guess this is the first time I feel that way, since I know it's for long period I'm here. And believe me, it's not a good feeling at all!

Most of the time I get so emotional because of this. I often cry without reason. How weird! And I keep questioning whether is it the right choice to be here or not. All the life I have built back in Jakarta now is vanished into thin air, and I have to build up something new again from the beginning. It's something interesting if I see it from different perspective and realize that I can learn a lot from this. But since I still feel lonely now and then, I can't really maximize myself to do it. I even feel I lost the touch of my warmth and joy. And again, it's not a good feeling when you realize that you change, and this time into something different. But even though it's not a good feeling, I should not give up. Because I'm still on the process of getting to know and integrating myself with something new. I have to give it a chance. I'm here anyway. I know that it will pass, eventually.

Something that I have to do to deal with it is embrace this loneliness. Be friend with it. Take advantage of it. Because this ability to feel something telling me that I'm still alive, showing me how precious people surround me are, and slapping me that life must go on even I'm lonely.

And every starts is not always that easy, eh?

A Resident or A Tourist?

It's been 2 weeks since I live in Denmark. I already got my Danish CPR number, means I'm officially a Danish resident even it's temporary, but on the other hand I'm still playing tourist. I know I'm here not for traveling, but to work and to live and learn something different. However, it's a new life, everything is new, so it's very exciting!

Talking about differences, yes Denmark is far different from Indonesia, especially the weather. Yet some still the same. Until now, I'm still adapting to the weather, integrating myself with the life here, getting to know the host family and the city, learning the language, and yes playing tourist!

I live in Horsholm, 30 minutes drive from Copenhagen. The place where I live is very nice, but very quiet since it's a residential area. So, I prefer to go back and forth to Copenhagen. I like Copenhagen a lot, it's a very nice place. It's the capital, but not too crowded. One of the biggest cities in Europe (1,128.6 sq mi), but only 2 millions inhabitant. It's very relaxing for me to dip into the city, to walk in the sidewalk with the view of beautiful and colorful buildings, cobble stone, canals, green trees, pale blue sky (sometimes we still have it) combining with people walking, biking, driving in order. I can still feel the sun sometimes even the wind blows quite hard, breath fresh air, oh I can't ask for something better. And what an indulging view after 21 years living in crowded and busy Jakarta! I'm still playing tourist by visiting some tourist attractions here and there, but on the other hand I know that I'll live here for quite sometimes. I don't want to know all the things at once then I get bored afterwards and feel like knowing everything. It would be not so interesting anymore. So I prefer to dip in slowly to the city. Not to rush.

But the problem is I still haven't got any friends. Well, yeah only 2 weeks. I haven't even started my school. It will start at the end of October. So I still feel alone all the time. I like to be alone, but somehow I feel lonely here. This lone gives me completely different feeling. Sometimes I feel sad about it, having no friends, and I miss my friends a lot in Jakarta. But on the other hand I feel good, so I can do everything on my own. And people take it for granted! Because it's a free country!

The thing is sometimes I forgot that I live in a different place with different culture and the people who have different mentality. So I can't really apply the same life with what I had back in Jakarta. Thus now I'm still searching something to cling on, to settle myself in. And it's not that easy, because it's the the time to adapt, integrate, cope with everything here. It's not that difficult either actually, it's mainly because of my own thought and feeling, I still have some obstacles within me. I'm still at the point where I need to always remain myself about my role here, about why I'm here, about all the good and the bad, about all the benefits and disadvantages. And this time have to deal with it otherwise I would fail. But it takes time, because of all the differences, I don't have any security anymore. Sometimes I feel sad and lonely, I might feel homesick even I keep saying I don't really miss home, consciously. But maybe subconsciously I do, especially the life there. I've left my comfort zone. But that's my choice. I have to live with it. I already threw myself in deep water, now it's time for me to swim ashore (as Karl said to me). I know I can do it!

It's been my dream since long time ago to live in Europe. Now I have the chance. I have to take advantage of it. I don't want to waste my time!

Happy Eid Mubarak!

Happy Eid Mubarak for those who celebrate it!

It's my first time away from home at that special event. Well, to be honest, I didn't do Ramadan properly this year. I didn't mean to make this as an excuse, but I live in the place where least people do it. But anyway, let's leave that issue.

As I said before, it's my first time away from home at that special event, so I got the strike of homesickness all of sudden. How strange! Because I knew I missed the tradition like what I always did before. And to be honest, I felt very lonely the last days, even worse when I imagined how nice it would be to be home and celebrating it. And here, too bad, I missed the celebration, because I didn't know that people celebrated it on Thursday instead of Friday. So, it just made everything felt even worse, a little bit. Plus, the weather in Denmark was not so good that time, drizzling all the day! So grey!

But at least, there was still something good, since I was with my friend, Karl. How kind he was accompanying me to visited the mosque in Copenhagen. Even we ended up only met two guys who told us that they celebrated it on Thursday. So, he said to me that there was a mosque in Malmo. There was where we heading to afterwards, Malmo!

I thought Scandinavia was entering the real autumn, since in Malmo the weather was not so good either! Just a little bit better than Copenhagen. So, on the way to his home, we passed the church and I said to him I wanted to go there. I wanted to talk to God. I'm not a Christian nor Catholic, but that time I felt like talking to God in His house. I really didn't mean to do any harm to any religions, it was really my personal communication between me and Him. The church was very nice actually even it was empty. Not so big, but very typical 18th centuries architecture. I talked to Him there for some times and I felt completely peaceful afterwards.

I'm not a religious person, but I still like to talk to God in some particular times. So, after church and lunch, we went to mosque. It was a very nice and a real mosque, with minarets! That mosque was quite classy, very bright and clean, yet empty. They also celebrated it yesterday. And one more time, I talked to God there. Felt peaceful again. I felt content. How nice. :)

Just too bad I couldn't see how people celebrate Eid Mubarak in Denmark and Sweden. Hopefully, next time..

And anyway, by writing this, I feel bad as well knowing that the essence of Eid Mubarak for me has changed now. Just for a celebration? I should shame on myself... I didn't even do the Ramadan. I didn't even win, I guess. And worse, I didn't even have any celebrations. So?

Oh.. how I miss everything in Jakarta. Sorry for being too melancholy. Have a nice day!

There's a Light that Never Goes Out!

Sometimes when you stumble and fall, when you feel like the unluckiest person in the world, you don't realize that somehow there is always always a light that never goes out for you! That will shine on after the dark time. Like an old proverb said, the darkest time at night appears just before the dawn.

It happens to me as well. Like always..

When I was afraid that I couldn't make any photo essay, his book helped me, even the photographer himself helped me out!

When I was so naive searching for another 'someone', it just made me realize that no other person is better than him..

When I was failed in the process to the final of one big contest in Jakarta, it must have been arranged to be happened that way, so I could finish my final project right in time..

When I was talking about the possibility of winning a quiz, the next day I really won it. Taking the line from The Alchemist, so I may say it was beginner's luck!

When it's impossible for me to go somewhere for a long time because of work, then when this work finish by the end of July, I will probably leave the country for 2 years..

Many things happen to us, not by chance, but it's already been set up to be happen that way. We just don't realize it. And yes, sometimes to reach the light, we should pass the dark first..

Annual Reminder, Birthday!

Before, I always wanted to keep the spirit of birthday. Curious about who will congratulate me first, whether I will get birthday cake and presents or not, like a lively childhood spirit.

One day before the D-day, I had a little argument with Ed. We were talking about birthday. Why people celebrate it, what's the difference between birthday and any other days, what's so special about it! He argued that it's all because of the society, because society -like it or not- makes you believe that it's important to make birthday special. He doesn't like birthday! I do like birthday. When I was a kid, maybe the reason why because people put so much attention to me on that day. But I realized as I grow older, less people would care!

I feel the same way. As older I got as careless I will be about birthday! But I always like to keep the spirit, because as for me birthday is like an annual reminder. For me to contemplate, to review what I've been doing until now, to be better. I know, even it's so little, there will always be something good happens on birthday. :)

April 3rd, 2010. My birthday this year, I turn 21! Legal age eventually. ;) Nothing special, nothing phenomenal, no presents, but birthday cake and wishes are more than enough. Thank you for everything, people! I really appreciate it. But beyond not-so-special-thing, I got a remarkable moment to remember in my whole life. For the first time, due to my essay project, I went to Jatinegara Railway. That place known as a prostitute area in Jakarta. I went there with a friend, because I was afraid to go there alone!

First time is always remarkable, I know that. When I sat in a small street vendor, I tried to feel the ambiance of that place. I observed how people there talking to each other and, for sure, trying to get a client! They looked normal, very natural. I must look natural as well. For a while I had to let myself be a part of them in their mind. I must not annoyed when people thought that I was one of them. But I was safe because I was there with a friend. So maybe people thought that I already got a client. hehe.. So then I convinced myself I have to get a good result that evening, so I asked one girl to sit with us. She was so friendly. She smiled a lot.

And since then, we talked about almost anything. I tried to get as many information as possible from her. I tried to do it naturally though, because I wanted to be friend with her and I also wanted her to feel comfortable with me. And it worked! I liked it. I couldn't believe I can do that! I could have a good conversation with her and she didn't feel intimidated by us. Even she agreed, when I eventually explained her about my project, to help me! Thanks Lord! Meant a lot!

I got my subject. I have to give my best out of it. I must not disappoint people who already put their trust on my shoulder. Ohh I feel like I got a nicest birthday present ever! :)

And one thing to learn: I didn't expect I will have a friend from place like that, but in fact I have one now. So it's always better to expect less, give more instead! And use the word "want" less, use the word "need" more instead. So really want something that really needed. Because God gives you thing that you really need. But don't forget to keep this in mind, "if you want something, the universe will conspire to make it come true!" So keep dreaming, keep fighting, do not give up!

It's April Again!

Here it comes, April! My favorite month of the year. I have a huge expectation that this month will bring me tons of luck! :)

Well, but like I always say, LIFE IS A BIG SURPRISE! Because in fact, first day of this month didn't run so well... I was neglect and irresponsible of my duty. I feel SO BAD about myself! And even worst because I ruined my friends' trust. I'm afraid now they lose their trust on me. I strongly hope not. And I'm sorry... I really am.

So then again, after several trials which happen to me since the beginning of this year, I'm asking myself again this time, "am I being tested?" I asked three of my closest friends that question, and one asked me back, "if you are being tested, do you have any idea why?" And automatically I answered her, "For me to be strong and to see life the way it is. To open my eyes and my heart, to be thankful of what I've got, to be more wisdom. But trials always never be that easy." Oh darn! I already know the answer of my own question!

I was thinking about it when I was walking alone back home. How to be strong, how to be more thankful, how to be more wisdom, how to accept things, how to struggle, how to be tough! Even now life is bringing me down, I must not give up! I have to keep fighting for my life! I CAN DO THAT!

Then I know what I should do, I need to change my perception about things. Seems I forgot it the last days. I was too cynical, so I couldn't see the good side of every single thing that happened.

There is no the word late for good thing. So from now on, if I can't change the thing that happen to me, I have to change the perception of the way I see that thing. And somehow, good thing always happen when you prepare for the worst. Same like if you expect too much, mostly you'll get less of it.

Real proof for those words, just experienced it today! I was walking alone back home at 10 pm. It was my first time walking alone in that street. It was a big street with many vehicles passing by but there were some spots which a little bit dark and looked dangerous. So I really prepared myself not to be robbed again, like two years ago. Then after around 1 km walking and still had 1 km left to walk, I was just thinking it would be nice if I could hitch hike inside the town. Two minutes after, a motorbike stopped by and offered me a ride! At first, I was suspicious! It's Jakarta! You would never know what will happen to you in big cities! We talked for a bit, then I could see that he really didn't mean something bad. So I accepted his offer. And my home was on his way home also. Just had a little talk and I asked him to pull over around 300 m from my house. It was really nice because he didn't even ask for my number. So he didn't have any motives at all! Wow thing like that happens in Jakarta. I have to pinch myself! ;)

Experience, what a really great teacher in life. And April, what a really incredible month. I feel like I have so much positive vibes in this month, even when things aren't going so well...

ENJOY YOUR APRIL! :) :) :)

Life is A Journey!

Even though it is a long and winding road
Even though there are many surprising things -good or bad- waiting ahead
Even though it is not so easy to get through it
Even though I stumble and fall many times
Even though I should do countless try and error
But I always try to love my journey

Life is not merely about the destination
It's about the journey

It's like the road, long and winding
I don't know where this path might lead me
I don't know the destination of this journey
I can't even see the end of it
But I know there's an end
All I know I should live with it
So -hopefully- I can get a real life and live it

And the only thing that I can do is follow the road
Though I can decide where to go
I can decide what kind of life that I want to choose

Just keep in mind not to give up when I face the trials along this journey
I have to be tough! Keep on walking!
My journey is waiting...

Small Things Do Matter!

If you think that small things are not worth to be done and you don't want to sweat for it, then you should think about it again! ;)

In age of 20, eventually I know how to make paper bird. I'm so happy. :) I never knew before that when you make it, it feels so good. Even it's just a small thing -unless you make a giant one- but you have to give at least 50% of your concentration for it. Moreover if you make a tiny one, you need to concentrate more. But it really is a good feeling. When you finish making one paper bird, your hand will automatically trying to find another paper to make another one, always like that, always like that. Because it is, like traveling, addictive! You can't stop! Believe it or not! And you can simply kill your time -if you're bored- by making paper bird. And you know like a very famous Japanese Proverb says "If you make 1000 of paper bird, your wish will come true." I don't know if it's true or not, but you can give it a try if you want. And if it's not true, at least you have 1000 of paper bird, you can put it in a jar, and if you make them with colorful paper, I believe you will have a very beautiful decor.

So small things do matter, at least for me. Almost all small things; like the art of making paper bird; like say hello and smiling to stranger; like say thank you or sorry; like give a seat to old citizen; like helping someone to cross the street; like throw the garbage in the bin; anything; do matter! If you think that small stuff is not so important, you have to think about it again. Because if you can realize that small thing might give you so much in return, you would do that. Making paper bird can give you a contentment and a good decor; by saying hello and smiling to stranger, you open yourself to accept new friendship; we don't have to discuss about the power of thank you and sorry, I bet we know it already; and the rest you I believe you can find it by yourself.

Maybe it takes only less than 2 minutes to do small things, it doesn't cost you anything, but you'll get so much in return. ;)

2010, May You Bring a Very Good Luck for Me!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!

Hello, we are GFJA family

I celebrated New Year's Eve with my second family, GFJA people. It was a really nice night. Good friends, good food, good music, drinks, I couldn't expect more! Spending time with them always bring some joy and fun to me. I really love them. :)

But stupid Hanny, I was too excited with drinks, like usual. Drank like crazy, dance like crazy, no wonder I got drunk and -this is embarrassing- puked! So again, my friends had to take care of me. Before I continue -I know this writing will really really embarrass me- I care, but what I do care most is I need to tell all this here, in public, so my bf knows that I told the truth. Ok, let's continue.. So it was the second time that my friends had to take care of drunk Hanny. Ohh bad me! I really thank them for this. :)

Well getting drunk always make me feel an inch to death, just like last night. I was so afraid. I could feel it. But the good thing is, because everytime I get drunk, I can feel what happen to me, what I say, what I do. I don't know why. Feels like my mind is still working properly, but of course hard to control, but at least I still can remember, but my body is weak, very weak. And I get tired and sleepy easily when I'm drunk. You don't believe it? Would you believe me if I say mushroom does not bring any effects for me?

Ya, at least I was drunk at the gallery, place where I feel safe. But bad people do exist. Something bad happened to me. Sorry I can't tell you what was that, because it's too sensitive. I only told people whom I thought related to this incident. Of course my bf is one of them. But after I told him about that, he didn't believe me and thought that I did bad thing also. :( I wasn't expecting a reaction like that to happen. I told him about all that because I don't want to hide something from him, especially thing like this. Huff.. when the truth is seen as a lie, what can I do? I strongly hope I can prove that I'm innocent. Well, I'm waiting...

Look at our hands, nice nail polish, eh? ;) and in the middle is our beloved, Oscar Motuloh

Cheers for 2010!

Have fuuuunnn...

Still sober, believe me. ;)

So this year began with a really-not-good thing for me, except the celebration. I hope it's only for this day, January 1st, 2010! I hope next days to come, a very good luck will always be with me. And I hope my bf will trust me. Amen!

Photos: Natasha Gabriella Tontey

As We Go On, We Remember..

Time goes by and now we're about to have our closing time. Some will have it by the end of this year and some will have it soon, soon! We are very happy about that yet sad knowing the fact that after this we have to say good bye to our togetherness at university. Leave all the beautiful memories behind and have to prepare ourselves for everything that comes toward us in the real life.

So today, we were freezing our joy and laughter into photograph. It would be the last gift for us which we can take a look at it someday in the future and say "I miss Komunikasi UI 2006 fellow."

Thursday, December 17, 2009. Teater Kolam, FISIP UI, Depok

PS: I love you. :)

Trouble is A Friend, Again!

November ended with something annoying.. :(

Today, Nov 30, I lost my wallet!
Geez!! FOR THE THIRD TIMES!!!
I hate to explain in detail when I lose something. It sucks!
I just don't want to remember it anymore!
And if I can remember exactly where it was and how it could be lost, then probably it would have lost, wouldn't it?
*sigh*

I didn't know how I manage to lose it AND I didn't do it on purpose.
No one wants to lose something.. Neither do I.

What I hate when I lose something is my parents will mad at me and won't help me!
I mean, they won't try to cheer me up, yea mostly they will mad at me instead.
And say that I'm reckless! Maybe I am. But... argh!

This is at the end of the month!
A wallet of a student? No cash money inside!
But I have some cards, mmm.... I have to block it soon.
And I hate to take care of those cards to get the new one.
It takes time!

Last month, I lost my pocket camera.
Last year, I lost my iPod.
Before last year, I lost my two cellphones and my wallet.

Oowh see bad surprise does happen!
It's life! I have to deal with it.
Easy to say, but not easy to do.
Cliche...
But at least I have to try.

Goosfrabaaaa....
I have to let it go...
LET IT GO!

And now I'm thinking to change my stuff into a cheap one. hehe.. ;)

Monday Madness with Bureaucracy!

Let's blame Henny for all the things that happened!

It was happening on Monday, August 24, 2009..

That morning I decided to apply for a new passport. So I went to The Immigration Office with a friend, Danny. *Thanks God I was with him.. Never thought that the process would really really pissed me off!

Ok. First, we went to the wrong place. The office has been moved to ... (I forgot), but it's not far away from the old one. I bought the form for 16.000 IDR. Wrote down all my personal informations then gave that form to the officer. He called my name and said that I have to bring the authentic documents (family card, birth card, id), not just their copies. Ok then, I went back home again to took those authentic documents! It took about 10 minutes to go to The Immigration Office-my home. It's not that far, huh? When I showed my family card to Danny, I said, "Dan, there's something wrong with my family card. They wrote down my name wrongly. Look! It's written as HENNY DWI JAYANTHI! It's not me! So I put an A sticker on the E." He was just amazed with thing that I did, and we laughed! "Ok, we'll see what will happen then," he said. Got back to The Immigration Office, I gave my documents and waited for about 5 minutes. Then a lady called my name and here came the trouble! She asked, "What's wrong with your family card? Is it authentic?" *Na,uh.. I knew she would ask me for that thing*Bravely I said, "Sure this is authentic, I know there's something wrong with my name. So the person in The District Office put a sticker on it." *Oh God I blame someone else for what I did. So rude!* "But we can't accept it," the lady said "You have to go back to your District Office and ask them to make PM 1 Letter telling that your family card is authentic." OH GOD! It was really annoy me! Danny just laughed and said, "I knew this would happen. hahahaha.. You're crazy by putting the sticker on your family card! hahahaha..." Ahhh... Fucked up!

I have bad experiences with bureaucracy, especially with my own District Office, Kelapa Gading Timur! First, I told the lady in the front desk about what was happening, she said I have to come inside and tell someone there. Ok. Then I came inside, and what I found was 6 men were just chatting and did nothing! *Man, I know this is Ramadhan! But hey do your job!* I talked to one of them, who was a security guard and he was so arrogant! He said I have to bring a cover letter from my home-area leader. Oh God didn't tell me to get back home anymore. Why didn't you just help me!? Geez!! I talked to the wrong person! Where the hell was the real officer!? I was so pissed off! No wonder I suddenly became so angry with him! Then there was an officer came and talked to us. God thought he would help me but he didn't! He even made the situation got worst! He told me to change my family card in the Citizenship Office!! OH MY GOD WHAT WAS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!? YOU KNEW IT WOULD TAKE TIMES!! Danny tried to calming me down and he took over my responsibility. He talked to the officer! I went out from the office and calmed myself down!

I remember about 3 years ago, when I got my ID card, it was wrong too. Again, it was written as HENNY DWI JAYANTHI! Ok Henny, you caused me in trouble for two times! I would never forgive you on the third times! Oh, is my name really hard to spell correctly? It's Hanny NOT Henny! With A NOT E! Oh come on!? And why most of the people in the bureaucracy are not so helpful!? They should help us! I really hate it!

Then Danny called me, asked me to talk to the supervisior. He said, "Be patient for awhile. The bureaucracy does suck, but you need them. If you resist them, you wouldn't get anything that you want." Ok. So I talked to a man about my problem, and he could help me, but he intensily looked for money. GEEZ!! After he finished with the letter for me, I paid him 20.000 IDR. Oh ok.. That easy money thing still happen.

I got the letter but we were too tired to go back to The Immigration Office. So, we just went to Gallery.

And the day after I went to The Immigration Office, gave all my documents, got my date for photo and interview

Hope everything will be ok. So I can get my passport immediately. Amen..

Things that I learn were: I have to be ultimately patient when dealing with bureaucracy and so with anything else; the process is the most important thing; this is a little part of my journey that I have to deal with, there are more upcoming things that I have to deal; I HAVE TO CHANGE MY FAMILY CARD!! WHO THE HELL IS HENNY!? HAHAHAHA....