Welcome Back!

Finally after 42 days off, on Nov 9, 2013 I am back on track. I am flying again. I am, oddly, happy. You never what you got after it is gone probably fits my situation. I did not know I would miss it, quiet much. Perhaps because, it is the world I am currently engage to, the area I am trying to be expert at, the life I am at the moment living in, and for sure the job I am committed to. So, having not work for so many days, though the reason is reasonable, still makes me feel a bit guilty.

Maybe, I am not gonna do this job for long. For everything in this world is temporary, anyway. But having the most of everything that we are doing at the moment is the best, I believe, we can do. It is not gonna be useless, maybe it will not take you to your dream destination, yet it could change something in you. Make it as a stepping stone, if you could. Try to get the lesson. People might be selfishly say "What's in it for me?", but if you are wise enough, you would rather ask "What is it that I can give?"

Once I struck a random conversation with a taxi driver, he said to me "What you have today, you might not have it again tomorrow. While you can, try to save up a little bit. Enjoy your life, but do not be foolish." Well said.

Beauty is In the Eyes of the Beholder

Everybody likes to see and enjoy something beautiful. Name it a scenery, a book, a vehicle, a person, anything. And me, as a woman, I also believe any other women do, we love it even more. It is our nature to love something beautiful. We want to be the beauty itself, thus we always try to make ourself beautiful.

There was the time (when I was younger), perhaps even until now, that I see it myself how lucky it is to be beautiful girls. It seems easy for them to get everything they wanted. Everybody adores them and would do anything for them. Those beautiful girls, I do not know how they take it, but for me as an outsider and a not beautiful girl, they seem take it as granted. They are spoiled by it. Some even, make use of it. Oh beautiful girl, your life is so easy...

As I get older and as time goes by, people change, life change, and some values also change.  But beauty remains the same, I would say. Well, maybe now people are not as easily lured by it. Because they have now their own perspective on how they see a beauty. Women emancipation is everywhere. Women are more bold, sharp, smart this day because they realize being beautiful on the outer skin is not enough. Well, who would want just to be pretty, having easy life, but end up being a hostess for a rich guy? NO!

Being a woman is sometimes tricky. If you are pretty and outgoing, people might think you are too easy. But if you are pretty and strict, they say you are scary. And if you are not pretty, but you are smart, you are geek. Well, many other examples on how tricky it is to be a woman. We do not want people, especially men, to look down at us nor take advantages of us. We want to be equal. Even though on the other hand, it would be even better if woman and man can support each other. In a way, we need each other.

Talking about being supportive, it is important. But I think individually they have to be independent as well, both woman and man. Especially woman. It is universally agreed that men always have to treat the women nicely. In every way. Take her by the hand, open the door for her, take her to nice places, pay the bill, etc etc. It is nice, I know. Even though, it could be too much sometimes. Because sometimes I think a woman who likes to be treated that way is so lame. She might be pretty, but she is such a boring princess. Isn't it even nicer to have a woman who knows herself, who carry herself with pride, intelligent, you can talk to her about anything, has a good job, she does not need man to pay her bill, has a vision and ambition, so you are proud to be with her? Plus she is gorgeous. Isn't it even nicer? She likes to be treated well, because she treats herself well and she knows how to make you proud by treating her well. I think that kind of women are amazing. Rather than women who just use they outer beauty, but have no use of her brain, to get what they want.

I know to take care of women's body, to be pretty is not cheap. And outer beauty is also important. But it will not last forever. Beauty inside will. And anyway, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

The Nature of Falling

I promise only to share happiness and surprises on my blog, yet I can not help it. Even though this is not a sad story, but I learn something from this event. I am surprised how I can relate things to my situation, not that I set it up. It just happens.

24 years old, after all those years I have managed to keep my health and lifestyle in balance, eventually I am falling. I am falling in love, ha ha ha.. Though it is true, but here I am talking about the nature of falling, when you only have a tiny little control over your body, your endurance is weaken, your energy is drained, in a way you are ill. Now I am. Lying in the hospital room. I do not know why I am having exactly, the doctors are still trying to figure it out. I have problem in my stomach, that is all I know and all I can tell to the doctors.

Anyway, being in the hospital for three days, weak and powerless. I need help and support from everybody, like my family, the hospital staff, my boyfriend, even my phone and my Simi beary.

Talking about the hospital staff, I have always been amazed by the work of people in service industry. They are generally very attentive, helpful, patience, hospitable, and etc. But as this is my first time being hospitalized, seeing their work, and experience it myself. I am in complete awe.

I always always need help from the nurses, like for toilet, down from bed, up to bed, walk, to take meds, and many others. So I always call them, I do not want to know how many times I call per day, but they always come with a smile and ask what they can help. I know it is their job, but as I am also working in a service industry and I exactly know how it feels, so I appreciate them more. I have just realized they are dealing with more shitty situation, if I may say it. For example, like me. It is so embarrassing, but I am telling you I cannot go to the toilet myself. First there is a machine in my infuse that they need to set off and I do not have any idea how to do it, and secondly, I just cannot do it myself right at this moment. So imagine, helping people with toilet stuff, they literally need to handle shit. And it is not only me, I am sure there are at least 50 more. They also need to check us regularly in the evening, take us to some particular units in the hospital if necessary, and another duties of theirs that I am not really aware of. They need to face it day by day, even sometimes with the same patients, co-workers, and so on.


Then it makes me thinking... Their patience is amazing. Like really. I would never think they do it because it is their job and they need to do it. No! I am also working in a service industry and I raise my hat for them who work in the hospital. My daily problems working in an airline industry are nothing compare to theirs. Inside the aircraft, dealing with very slow boarding, exceed baggage, double seating passengers, unruly passengers, etc. are really nothing compare to helping change the diaper of an adult, clean puke, bath a patient, etc. For me, working as an air crew, yes I am dealing with all those stuff every single day, but in a very limited time during I help them transport my passengers from one point to another. Also, my passengers and my co-workers are changing almost daily, so there is no reason I should take something personally. But for those who work in the hospital, it is another story. Salut!

Lesson learned is doing any profession, one needs to be very determine in doing it, very into it. Especially for those who chose service industry, extra patience is needed. Then it can make bring you happiness, not because of the payment, but simply because you can see that people that you help are grateful and smiling to you.

My Journey is My Home

I was away from my home for only three weeks, yet I could tell that there are some changes. Only small changes though, nothing really special. Yet I was still looking at those things for one minute or two trying to recall how they looked before or what was it that was being replaced. I was not in the process, so I thought these changes were sudden. I only see the final form.

"The only thing constant in life is change." - François de la Rochefoucauld

I think nowadays, people like everything to be instant. Everything needs to be quick. Care more about when to get at one point, instead of how to get there. I like it too, sometimes. Even though, I always enjoy the process. Being in the moment, so I can feel fully attach to what I am doing. However, I am now sitting on my bed with things going on in my head, mainly was trying to remember whether I have missed many details that have formed the final picture of one change in my life.

When I look at myself in the mirror now, I can tell the physical change. Then I talk to myself about me in the present and say how grateful I am to have done what I did in the past. I have done quite many different things in life. One another has nothing in common. No relation, at all. However it makes me into me who I am today. I feel a little bit sorry to myself, though, that I didn't really give my best at that time. I don't want to say some silly expressions like "I wish I could.." "If only I had.." Nothing will make any different. Because after all that was my process. Now I can feel the advantage. Experience is a good teacher, people say. And wise people, will not let history to repeat itself.

So lesson learned at this early morning is I should be aware even for small details in the process. I should do more consequences analysis before even think about ignoring one. Because one day if that small detail is the core of everything, I will not have the chance to turn back the time to redo it again.

Say the final form is my destination. And the process is my journey. As for me, the journey is my home, where I feel comfortable at.

What You See as A Grown-up?

Happy new year 2012! Sorry for the very very slow will in taking action. Wishing all of you the very best in this quite controversial yet exciting year. I hope everybody is having fun. :)

Well then 2012, it means I'm now soon to be 23. Still in 2 months, though. Time is passing when you're not looking, eh. Here and now I'm not going to review nor making any resolutions, no. That will be a never ending circle, so I actually find it kinda ridiculous to do so. Because I think, making plan is necessary, but embracing the opportunity that comes to you is even more important. Like one of my good friends said, "Why should I plan my life? Opportunities are everywhere if you open your eyes. That's what I learned from living." John Lennon even said, "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making plans."

Currently I'm jobless. I don't know whether I should be happy or sad about it, but I enjoy it somehow. I left Denmark in mid June, so I've been back here in Indonesia for around 7 months. See! Time does fly! I lived in Bali for nearly half a year (it's gonna be another story to tell). In short, I quit my job in Bali and came back to Jakarta. So January was my first full month living in Jakarta again. It has been lovely here in Jakarta, meeting up with family and also my good old and new friends, returning to the places I like, having fun, and you know, simply enjoying this highly complex capital. Not so bad. Yet still keep opening my eyes for new opportunities. Already got one or two, and even still in the process of reaching the goal. I actually can't believe I've made it this far. But as I usually say, I always set my dreams high, but never expect too much. So let's see what happens.

Anyway, have I mentioned about meeting up with people? Well yeah, that's special, as always. It's nice to be reunited with people I've missed all this time. I also got to meet new people. And, my uncle passed away last week, so sorry. But because of that I got to meet my cousins too, whom I haven't seen for ages. Like really, for ages. Do you know what normally people say when they meet another people from the past? "Wow, you've changed!" or "Wow you've grown!" or something like that. Which I think kinda silly, because of course people do change and absolutely, they do grow, for God's sake! Well, I also do it anyway sometimes, because that's the ice breaker to strike a conversation. But then, it makes me thinking...

When I met my little brother again, 7 months ago. He has grown so fast. He is so big now, even taller than me. I don't know what he has been through when I was not there, I don't know how develop or mature he got, I don't know how much he changes inside. But physically, he has developed. Yet in my eyes, he is still a kid who barely able to protect himself. Perhaps in some years, I will realize that he is not a kid anymore and I can eventually talk to him as grown-ups.

Speaking of experience, I feel that too. When I was a kid, I saw all the grown-ups (relatives, teachers, neighbors, even parents) were so big, mature, and powerful. They seemed just out of reach. But now, I'm growing up, having more experience, getting mature, and when I meet them again occasionally, they all look the same like what I can remember when I was a child. They don't slightly change. Even now, I can have friends from a very wide range of ages, from a 10 year-old kid to a 40 even 50 year-old guy. As long as I know where to have myself, can have good conversation, and have a good judgement, everything is good. Everything seems to be more equal. :)

Undskyld, nu skriver jeg paa Dansk. Saa pigerne i dette billede heroppe kan godt forstaar. Jeg tog sig af de boern, da jeg var i Danmark, var de 10, 9, og 2-aarige. Vi havde en rigtig god tid sammen, jeg gerne en dag vil komme en anden gang for os at blive genforenet. Og i den tid haaber jeg, de kan stadig huske vores gode gamle tid, saa vi kan goere det igen, paa trods af aendringerne. Selv jeg ville oenske, de kunne oplevealle de ting, som verden kan tilbyde. Som for mig, uanset hvad de bliver, vil jeg altid elske dem. :)