Mind/Passion - enormouSight

I should have written this on the 18th. Due to commemorating a year of my very first photo exhibition with GFJA XIV, Mind/Passion!

So, it's been a year. How time flies so fast until I realize that next month I will have my second exhibition. I'm so happy, but on the other hand anxious because we still have no sponsors yet! Moreover, my photo essay is still not finished yet. Just finishing touch here and there for the photos, but for the essay: none! I demanded to write using journalism aspects again this time, like what I used to do in university. Well, it's been quite a while since I didn't write such thing. I hope I'm still good at it. :)

About the exhibition itself, it's strange now. Because I can't feel the excitement of having another exhibition yet! Why??? This time last year, I was so excited until I couldn't say a word. And when we succeeded to make a good one, wow speechless. World seemed too wonderful, everything felt so miraculous, I couldn't believe we did it! All tiredness disappeared in a flash! All paid off with the pride and joy!

I hope my friends and I can motivate ourselves to give our best for ENORMOUSIGHT! We can do it! Just believe every thing is good when its time. :) GFJA XV, WE CAN DO IT! GODSPEED US! :)

Open Up Your Heart and Let The Sunshine In!

So let the sun shine in
face it with a grin
Smilers never lose
and frowners never win
So let the sun shine in
face it with a grin
Open up your heart and let the sun shine in

-Frente-

PS: I think now I'm ready to feel something, again. At last.

Get Out from Jakarta for Breakfast and Photo Shot!

All of sudden after attending the opening exhibition of Fiksi Non Fiksi at Antara Gallery, me and six friends of mine decided to go somewhere. At first we said, "Ok, Puncak!" Puncak is a place out of Jakarta, approximately 2 hour driving, located in the valley. It's a nice place with mountains and green fields as the scenery, and also with cool weather. So no wonder the place is often be a gate away choice for a while for Jakartans.

We left Jakarta at 4 in the morning. When we were about to arrive in Puncak, we said, "oh come on, just go to Puncak is not cool, let's go to Bandung!" So we went a little more further to Bandung, the capital of West Java. But we stopped for a while to enjoy the dawn in Puncak. :)

Bandung is famous as a shopping paradise. Its another nick name is Paris van Java. But, we didn't plan to shop, so no extra money. We arrived in the morning, and because there were 5 men of us, so they wanted to hunt for girls! Guess what? We went to Padjajaran University! But it was Saturday, I thought no classes on that day.

We ended up just having breakfast and photo shot in Bandung. But it was soooo fun, though we were damn sleepy and tired. And since most of us are single, so it was like a short trip for absofuckinglutely single people! Hahaha...

Annual Reminder, Birthday!

Before, I always wanted to keep the spirit of birthday. Curious about who will congratulate me first, whether I will get birthday cake and presents or not, like a lively childhood spirit.

One day before the D-day, I had a little argument with Ed. We were talking about birthday. Why people celebrate it, what's the difference between birthday and any other days, what's so special about it! He argued that it's all because of the society, because society -like it or not- makes you believe that it's important to make birthday special. He doesn't like birthday! I do like birthday. When I was a kid, maybe the reason why because people put so much attention to me on that day. But I realized as I grow older, less people would care!

I feel the same way. As older I got as careless I will be about birthday! But I always like to keep the spirit, because as for me birthday is like an annual reminder. For me to contemplate, to review what I've been doing until now, to be better. I know, even it's so little, there will always be something good happens on birthday. :)

April 3rd, 2010. My birthday this year, I turn 21! Legal age eventually. ;) Nothing special, nothing phenomenal, no presents, but birthday cake and wishes are more than enough. Thank you for everything, people! I really appreciate it. But beyond not-so-special-thing, I got a remarkable moment to remember in my whole life. For the first time, due to my essay project, I went to Jatinegara Railway. That place known as a prostitute area in Jakarta. I went there with a friend, because I was afraid to go there alone!

First time is always remarkable, I know that. When I sat in a small street vendor, I tried to feel the ambiance of that place. I observed how people there talking to each other and, for sure, trying to get a client! They looked normal, very natural. I must look natural as well. For a while I had to let myself be a part of them in their mind. I must not annoyed when people thought that I was one of them. But I was safe because I was there with a friend. So maybe people thought that I already got a client. hehe.. So then I convinced myself I have to get a good result that evening, so I asked one girl to sit with us. She was so friendly. She smiled a lot.

And since then, we talked about almost anything. I tried to get as many information as possible from her. I tried to do it naturally though, because I wanted to be friend with her and I also wanted her to feel comfortable with me. And it worked! I liked it. I couldn't believe I can do that! I could have a good conversation with her and she didn't feel intimidated by us. Even she agreed, when I eventually explained her about my project, to help me! Thanks Lord! Meant a lot!

I got my subject. I have to give my best out of it. I must not disappoint people who already put their trust on my shoulder. Ohh I feel like I got a nicest birthday present ever! :)

And one thing to learn: I didn't expect I will have a friend from place like that, but in fact I have one now. So it's always better to expect less, give more instead! And use the word "want" less, use the word "need" more instead. So really want something that really needed. Because God gives you thing that you really need. But don't forget to keep this in mind, "if you want something, the universe will conspire to make it come true!" So keep dreaming, keep fighting, do not give up!

It's April Again!

Here it comes, April! My favorite month of the year. I have a huge expectation that this month will bring me tons of luck! :)

Well, but like I always say, LIFE IS A BIG SURPRISE! Because in fact, first day of this month didn't run so well... I was neglect and irresponsible of my duty. I feel SO BAD about myself! And even worst because I ruined my friends' trust. I'm afraid now they lose their trust on me. I strongly hope not. And I'm sorry... I really am.

So then again, after several trials which happen to me since the beginning of this year, I'm asking myself again this time, "am I being tested?" I asked three of my closest friends that question, and one asked me back, "if you are being tested, do you have any idea why?" And automatically I answered her, "For me to be strong and to see life the way it is. To open my eyes and my heart, to be thankful of what I've got, to be more wisdom. But trials always never be that easy." Oh darn! I already know the answer of my own question!

I was thinking about it when I was walking alone back home. How to be strong, how to be more thankful, how to be more wisdom, how to accept things, how to struggle, how to be tough! Even now life is bringing me down, I must not give up! I have to keep fighting for my life! I CAN DO THAT!

Then I know what I should do, I need to change my perception about things. Seems I forgot it the last days. I was too cynical, so I couldn't see the good side of every single thing that happened.

There is no the word late for good thing. So from now on, if I can't change the thing that happen to me, I have to change the perception of the way I see that thing. And somehow, good thing always happen when you prepare for the worst. Same like if you expect too much, mostly you'll get less of it.

Real proof for those words, just experienced it today! I was walking alone back home at 10 pm. It was my first time walking alone in that street. It was a big street with many vehicles passing by but there were some spots which a little bit dark and looked dangerous. So I really prepared myself not to be robbed again, like two years ago. Then after around 1 km walking and still had 1 km left to walk, I was just thinking it would be nice if I could hitch hike inside the town. Two minutes after, a motorbike stopped by and offered me a ride! At first, I was suspicious! It's Jakarta! You would never know what will happen to you in big cities! We talked for a bit, then I could see that he really didn't mean something bad. So I accepted his offer. And my home was on his way home also. Just had a little talk and I asked him to pull over around 300 m from my house. It was really nice because he didn't even ask for my number. So he didn't have any motives at all! Wow thing like that happens in Jakarta. I have to pinch myself! ;)

Experience, what a really great teacher in life. And April, what a really incredible month. I feel like I have so much positive vibes in this month, even when things aren't going so well...

ENJOY YOUR APRIL! :) :) :)