Father is (consciously/unconsciously) The Role Model!

Lately I always introduce myself as Hanny Haryadi. Even actually, it is not my real given name. Well, Hanny is, though. But Haryadi is my father's. I just like the rhythm and it does, actually, fit me better, somehow.

As an Indonesian, I don't have surname. And there was no particular reason either why I chose to use my father's name as mine. Certainly, not because I wanted to show that I am my father's daughter. Because I am already is. I remember I even got annoyed when my friends called me with his name when I was a kid. How odd that now I like to be called that way.

I don't have a good father and daughter relation. I barely talked to him, even! He is not the type of father whom others would adore nor imagine to have theirs like him. He was willing to accompany me and my brothers to amusement park, though, and tried all the rides there. But still, in my eyes, he had no spirit of joy. No fun. I don't even know if he could laugh out loud or not. And as I recall, I even always looked up to someone else's fun father to be mine.

Mine always look serious. And most of the times, he is so quiet. Spend, I think, 3 quarter of his life studying and reading books. He has a very high self discipline. He is also very careful in using money. Get through everything before he uses every penny of his. No wonder, now he is a lecture in economy after retired from his prior job.

For me, he seems to live in his own world. With his own thoughts and his way of living. Sometimes, I can't even follow his mind. I don't even understand why he does such particular things. It just can't get through my brain system. The more I write about it, I feel like standing in front of a mirror, looking at myself. Because, I think, I am actually like that. So, I inherit that from him, probably.

But on top of that, I love him for the reason I will never be able to explain. And at the end of the day, he is always be my father. The one who loves me without questioned.

Anyway, you must have heard the line which saying "My Father is My Role Model". I never believed it's true, as I explained it earlier. But now, I think it is. The reason why now I do, because now I'm together with a guy whom, the more I understand him the more I feel he has certain values which almost the same like my father. Not exactly, though. Same, but different.

Just like my father, I can't follow his mind sometimes. His actions are unexplainable to my logic. He could be irritating, even. But also just like with my father, I do love him for the reason I don't understand. And I do feel safe when he's around. Knowing that, no matter what, he is always good to me.

So, My Father is unconsciously my role model.

PS: June 5th is Father's Day. Happy Father's Day, fathers!

The Road

"We're creatures of comfort and we find our patterns and stick to what we know best. But there's a big wild and beautiful world out there for those who want to head up there"

-The Road/A Broken Down Melody

I can't agree more to that sentence! It is just entirely true.

I have left my comfort zone. But to be honest, it's not something that I can snob around to people, feeling better because I have done it. Not at all! It is actually very hard. Because all of a sudden I have to live up all the consequences, all the things which before only wandering around in my mind.

I live in a completely different place. I don't know anybody. I don't speak the language. I have no advance knowledge about the customs and rules. I barely have money. I have no status. I can't behave the same way like I used to do. I am obliged to do something I detest. In short, I'm nobody and lost.

Anyhow, I don't dislike getting lost, I enjoy it instead. Then I can try to find a new way get back to the right road. I have encountered with many turns, dead ends, still it feels like a long and winding road. But I keep on going, slowly slowly find my own path. Leave marks here and there. Build something from the scratch. Then now everything feels easier. Not all though, unfortunately.

I still have a burden, though. My ego is just too high to give in to see the world in up side down perspective. I decided to turn around, step backward, go back to where I start. I realize I might regret it one day. Because I have been through all the ups and downs, yet I haven't seen it until the end. It's only half-baked, still.

No matter what, decision has been made. There is no other way.

The Bell has Rung!

Another hiatus, apparently I like to leave this site unwritten for uncertain time. To be honest, I've been checking my own blog every now and then, and the passion to write is always there. Plus all the things that keep come and go in my life is just so interesting to share, I think. But I just don't understand myself why I just don't write a thing!? Maybe they are just so interesting until I don't know how to put it in words? Weird!

I don't even know who read my notes actually, but I'm so sorry if I seem neglecting this one. Me myself even feel bored always be welcomed with a note back from new year, means 4 months ago! Anyway, now I really feel like writing. And this particular event makes me even eager to just keep on going.

I love Friday! Oh yes, indeed! The last 2 Fridays have been always warm. Spring has blown its warm breeze accompanied with full sunshine. Not always, though, but at least now we do have the sun! No doubt that sun always brings a positive spirit for people live in this cold country. Now everyone looks even more shining and stunning. They already hanged their big winter jacket, stuffed back warm shoes, now it's time for colors!

Yes, colors are everywhere. From the people, the trees, the buildings. Everywhere! Even my life is just too colorful now! I mean it!

I love the fact that now we have the sun, feels like home, somehow. I feel blessed seeing how beautiful Copenhagen is when the sun is really there. I can't stop falling in love with it. It seems that the city is always ready to give you (at least me) something completely new. Since I already understand and speak a little Danish, I feel the city even more attractive. Because now I really feel like a part of it. And I know Danes a little more better. They are cold, yes, but they are also very helpful and friendly in many ways. I like them. See how my first impression about them is so wrong. Don't believe in first impression, it could be deceiving. ;)

Ok I need to stop telling about that now. It was just a hint. I will write the complete version to fulfill my promise to my best tutor. Ok, but what exactly I mean colorful is because I just got lots of surprise here and there!

It's just all about Friday! I said it that I love Friday. So, Friday last week, I went for a picnic with my friends. It was just so cosy. Nothing special in particular, though. Just a very nice feeling having time for myself and my friends, at last. And worried about nothing. But Friday this week, means today, hold da op! First of all, a friend of mine whom I went for a picnic with is already in India. Second of all, I have to work this weekend. Last but not least, I just lost 3500 kroner in a blink! For fanden! Ok, it's because of my stupidity, though, about toilet! Aah too embarrassing to spill the story behind it. So now, I'm worried about money, which actually I never really did before. Just annoyed me, this kind of thing. It's like a bell that rings in my head reminds me that I'm getting old and need to plan myself better, in every ways. Saving money is one of them, obviously.

But on top of that, this would sound odd after what had happened to me, I still feel happy. Who doesn't when the sun is shining for around 16 hours? God weekend! :)

1 Januar 2011

Time does not fly that fast if you keep in trace about what you have been doing. Therefore, in order to appreciate my life and to refresh my mind, I would like to trace back my wonderful 2010 before I embrace the challenge and the beauty of 2011.

Some good things that happened in the year of tiger was I traveled to some countries in 3 continents: Southeast Asia (Thailand and Vietnam), Europe (Denmark, Austria and Sweden), and Africa (Egypt). It was a bliss. Even though some, I felt I just paid a visit and haven't explored that much. But it was worth visiting though.

Another thing was I dipped into the night life in Jakarta to interact with one profession that people normally spit on it, prostitute. It was unforgettable! And the notes I took from there, I presented it through my photo essay in two exhibitions. That time I could taste the sweet of glory.

Having finished my study with excellent result and worked with inspiring people at the same time could be one of the exciting moments of 2011 as well. It was just awesome.

Last but not least, if you ever reached the limit of your self boundary, then you might know the feeling. This is my best of 2010, I have been challenged myself to leave my comfort zone, to do something completely different with my prior life, to embrace the chances and the opportunities that life might give, and to look inside me to know myself better. I left my country and moved to Denmark to work. Even though it was hard at the beginning, but later when I have found which foot to stand on, I feel blessed to be here.

1 January 2011 gave me a very beautiful surprise. A positive energy to start my following year. A clear mind to see things better. And a healthy spirit to live the life. This year I need to keep challenging myself, I will leave the traces here:

- Speak Danish and Italian

- Be a travel journalist

- Write a book

- Learn how to cook

Just a simple note, the basic things in life we always need to do to build a good foundation. ;)

Endnu et år, en anden start.. Velkommen 2011!

People and The City

"Getting to know people is like visiting countries in the world. You fall in love with one or two, but you can't stay long enough if the country doesn't issue a visa. So you can only marvel its beauty from outside, take an afternoon walk, evening drive, hoping someday you won't need a map."

- Ramda Yanurzha

This is another story from my life in Denmark. This time no more complaints, definitely! The first two months dealt with culture shock, social status, loneliness, and long list of complaints, made me strong enough to stand on my own feet without worry about anything. Now comes another phase of settling in, which is getting to know people.

I left this page unwritten for a month and a half. Along that time, many things have happened, even though they come and go. Being alone for a while let me have enough space for myself, for me to understand myself better. I've been friend with myself ever since. How nice. :) So, the thing that I wanted to have friends like my wish in the beginning was not so important anymore. But then, one by one people came to my life. Some continued their journey and some stayed.

I was so grateful that some of my friends helped me a lot in my first encounter with Denmark. How they always listened to my complaints. How they tried to ensure me that everything would be ok. How they trusted me that I could get through this. It was just so nice of them. I even got to meet two of them, and I was extremely happy to meet familiar face in a complete stranger world. Then I know that they are my best friends for life. No question asked.

Then I got the chance to meet another Indonesian people in the living fairy tale city, Copenhagen. One was my former boss and the other was a guy who hosted my friend back in Jakarta. I barely talked to my former boss before, but here we became good friends. Since we were far away from country. And he gave me so much input. Same story with the other guy, I never met him in Jakarta, but here all the conversation went like we knew each other for ages. How interesting it is when you meet someone who speak the same language outside the country, then all of sudden you just feel.. at home.

That was with some people whom I knew already. But they had to continue their journey, it was sad but on the other hand I knew that we have each other in our memories and will support each other in everything we do. We're hopping that our path will cross again someday.

Even far away from the country, I try to manage to keep in contact with my friends back home. Though with the time difference is not that easy. Again, the time when I was alone gave me another perspective on how I see friends. I realized that now I know better know about my friends back home. They are my very good friends, but then I know that some are just friends when we're together, some are just friends when they need me, some are just friends for some particular issues, and some are friends for life to stand by each other even we're far away. But above all, they are still my very good friends anyway and will remain the same forever.

I love getting to know people. I feel so blessed that now I can get to know people better. It's just because now I know myself better. So I can see another people more clearly. :)

Like in my first paragraph, now I'm entering the phase of settling in which is getting to know people. Since I already knew some people here, aside of my host family of course, it's the time for me to make friends. Generally speaking, they are friends, of course, but in different term. I just know them, but they're super nice. I like them. And as for me, I know that there are some people who just can give me good impression that make me feel that they are gonna be my good friends. I felt it with one or two people here.

Since now I'm here, then I need to follow the rules of the game here. It's not my country where I can easily make friends because I know the mentality of the people there, more or less. It could be a little bit difficult, but I'm sure it won't be an obstacle as long as I'm just being who I am and doing good to people.

The best thing about getting to know people is somehow you can get so much input which really suit to your life condition that time, even though the people who tell you that do not realize or do not even mean to give you something. Anyhow as long as you open yourself for new opportunities and chances, then you will receive something good that you never thought. It is a surprise, like a box of chocolate. ;)