A Resident or A Tourist?

It's been 2 weeks since I live in Denmark. I already got my Danish CPR number, means I'm officially a Danish resident even it's temporary, but on the other hand I'm still playing tourist. I know I'm here not for traveling, but to work and to live and learn something different. However, it's a new life, everything is new, so it's very exciting!

Talking about differences, yes Denmark is far different from Indonesia, especially the weather. Yet some still the same. Until now, I'm still adapting to the weather, integrating myself with the life here, getting to know the host family and the city, learning the language, and yes playing tourist!

I live in Horsholm, 30 minutes drive from Copenhagen. The place where I live is very nice, but very quiet since it's a residential area. So, I prefer to go back and forth to Copenhagen. I like Copenhagen a lot, it's a very nice place. It's the capital, but not too crowded. One of the biggest cities in Europe (1,128.6 sq mi), but only 2 millions inhabitant. It's very relaxing for me to dip into the city, to walk in the sidewalk with the view of beautiful and colorful buildings, cobble stone, canals, green trees, pale blue sky (sometimes we still have it) combining with people walking, biking, driving in order. I can still feel the sun sometimes even the wind blows quite hard, breath fresh air, oh I can't ask for something better. And what an indulging view after 21 years living in crowded and busy Jakarta! I'm still playing tourist by visiting some tourist attractions here and there, but on the other hand I know that I'll live here for quite sometimes. I don't want to know all the things at once then I get bored afterwards and feel like knowing everything. It would be not so interesting anymore. So I prefer to dip in slowly to the city. Not to rush.

But the problem is I still haven't got any friends. Well, yeah only 2 weeks. I haven't even started my school. It will start at the end of October. So I still feel alone all the time. I like to be alone, but somehow I feel lonely here. This lone gives me completely different feeling. Sometimes I feel sad about it, having no friends, and I miss my friends a lot in Jakarta. But on the other hand I feel good, so I can do everything on my own. And people take it for granted! Because it's a free country!

The thing is sometimes I forgot that I live in a different place with different culture and the people who have different mentality. So I can't really apply the same life with what I had back in Jakarta. Thus now I'm still searching something to cling on, to settle myself in. And it's not that easy, because it's the the time to adapt, integrate, cope with everything here. It's not that difficult either actually, it's mainly because of my own thought and feeling, I still have some obstacles within me. I'm still at the point where I need to always remain myself about my role here, about why I'm here, about all the good and the bad, about all the benefits and disadvantages. And this time have to deal with it otherwise I would fail. But it takes time, because of all the differences, I don't have any security anymore. Sometimes I feel sad and lonely, I might feel homesick even I keep saying I don't really miss home, consciously. But maybe subconsciously I do, especially the life there. I've left my comfort zone. But that's my choice. I have to live with it. I already threw myself in deep water, now it's time for me to swim ashore (as Karl said to me). I know I can do it!

It's been my dream since long time ago to live in Europe. Now I have the chance. I have to take advantage of it. I don't want to waste my time!