For me, I really like the feeling of away from home, away from my routines, away from the system. Sounds pretty coward, eh? But well I'm still alive even I'm coward. hehe.. It feels strange to be home again after all. Strange! But I don't feel sad, and of course I don't feel happy either. Sometimes I just don't know what I supposed to feel when I'm home. All I know I just want to travel again. So mostly the feeling of going is more frightening than the feeling of leaving. Though adapting with home's circumstances is not that difficult, since adapting is the thing that travelers always do.
When I talked about this with my friend, Roberto, he told me, "So do not travel again." I was shocked, why he told me like that? He's away from his country as well. But then he explained to me that I should not do what makes me feel unhappy. He said I like traveling, but I don't like to be back home. But I should go home. So everytime I'm traveling, possibly I would feel unhappy after it.
I couldn't say he was right, but he was not fully wrong either. And everytime I ask myself why I travel? I can't find a satisfying anwer yet. I know I'm looking for something, but I don't know what. I'm looking for something I don't know (like ED always say also). Envy them who can answer this question already.
But all I know I feel happy when I'm traveling. But yeah, not when I have to go home. It's all about what's in my mind. My mind is more free when I'm traveling, but not at home. Seems like there's a conception in my mind about home and what's inside it already and I can't change it!
Though I can't change it, I have to change my mind about it, change the way I think about it. So it could change the way I react with that. I should enjoy myself wherever I am. Because in the end, (maybe) it's the same to here or there. And the most important is that I -and you also- should be happy. Because why would we choose to be unhappy?
hahaha.. strange but true.
ReplyDeletebut i truly understand that feeling. the absolute happiness. is when you take the first step of the trip,and feel so unhappy just to know that you are about to go home.
why i love traveling is because when i'm out there i feel like i'm totally free and i know, that i'm taking control of myself. full control. i am what i am. while back home i have to live life with full consideration for other surrounds me. sounds like hypocrite ha.. well that's my version of adapting.
while in travel i use another form of adaption which really comfort me.
and that's why i feel more excited to be outside and on travel.